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When the mood hits, I'll post my brain hiccups. Don't look for anything on a regular basis though.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

This blog, through inactivity, has kind of changed in nature from what it is into what it is becoming. It was originally supposed to be my personal blog, where I put my thoughts and ideas - anything that didn't fit into my "fun" blog. Then I started kind of writing some of the things God was doing in my life. Then the whole blog just sort of fell into disuse. Actually, I'm not sure if I wrote it in here or not, but I kind of promised God that when He did something in my life, I would record it here. Well, I've not kept up with that. A while back (right around New Years, I think it might have been the 30th of December) when I was down in San Diego on my Chi Alpha retreat, God lead me to pray for this girl, and he gave me special knowledge of her life, and I never wrote it down here.
I think it was the second (possibly third) night of the conference. A lot of prayer had been going on, and people getting baptized in the spirit and stuff. I, as is sometimes my habit, was pacing the back, watching and praying over stuff. I noticed this girl standing towards the back of the group, and I felt God say to me to go ask her if I could give her a hug. Kind of strange, kind of sketchy, and I wrestled with it for a moment, but these things...it's best to just do them and not argue about how you perceive that action. So, I went over to this girl (I didn't know her), and asked if I could give her a hug. So was just, "Um, okay, sure." So I gave her the hug, and I said "God just wanted to say that He loves you." When I said this she just suddenly broke down crying. At this point I knew that something was up, so I started praying for direction, praying for her, etc. Prayer progressed as it naturally does, and someone else (at some point, don't remember exactly when) came over and started to pray also. God started to reveal to me that she was having a problem accepting his love for her. He showed me three things in her life, specific things. Again, it felt kind of strange talking about this, about personal things that I really wouldn't have any reason to know about her, but as we prayed and she cried, I was eventually able to ask her about two of them (the third I didn't ask her that night, but it was right on also, which I found out the next night when she got up in the front and talked about it) and confirm them. Basically, she was having trouble accepting God's love because of her own relationship with her earthly father. So, we just kept praying and working through it. I felt kind of funny, like I knew she was going to be slain in the spirit, but that she had to break through some kind of barrier, reach some point of release, before that could happen. And that's exactly what did happen. I just prayed for her, prayed for her to be free and child like, to see herself as loved and accepted, to see it like a child playing in a field in the summer sun with her daddy looking on, with just so much love. And that's where she went. A little bit of holy laughter happened for a little while (it got to me too, a bit), but it didn't get out of hand, and it didn't last too long. (Actually, that's me second, third, no fourth...not sure - depends how you count, experience with holy laughter.) And then I could almost tangibly feel her breaching the barrier that had held her, and I prayed, and down she went. I can hardly imagine what it was like for her, but it was kind of exciting...maybe that's not the right word...for me, since that was the first time I was part of someone being slain in the spirit. I think she stayed down for twenty minutes or so. It still hasn't happened to me yet, but I was glad to be a part of it, however it happened.

So, anyway... I'd been questioning why I went to the conference (I was the only one from Stanford that made it), but for that girl, for being able to help her accept God;s love in her life, - that was worth it, and reason enough. If that was the whole reason why I came to Stanford, it was worth it (I've also wondered many times why I ended up at Stanford). I still have my questions about the life I have, thee whys, hows, whens and such, but I appreciate it so much when I see something like that happens, because it makes it all worthwhile.

I think that's pretty much everything I had to say, at least for the moment. Hopefully I will not be so long between this and my next post as I was between this and my last post.

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